Hope Filled, Hope Fueled
I wish you could fill up on hope like you do caffeine. Brew a big pot of it at home, add a dash (in my case half a cup) of creamer, and drink up. Or maybe on a rough day swing by the drive thru and grab a five dollar cup of hope with a fancy Italian name, your favorite pastry, and let that green lady get you through the day. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got an eternal hope, a beautiful knowledge of life everlasting with the God of love. But it’s hard to live a hope filled life sometimes. I’ve noticed this a…
Love Alone
“But Daddy, I love him!” Ariel shouts to her father, protecting her statue of dear Prince Eric. My child mind thought, oh how sad her dad doesn’t understand love. My adult mind says, oh sweet goodness you’re 16 and you’ve never even spoken to the man. That’s not love! Obviously, my concept of love has changed over the decades since I first saw The Little Mermaid. The last year, even more so. I’ve experienced God’s love for me in ways so overwhelming that it has fundamentally changed me. And as I spend more time focused on love and what it means in this world, I understand why love is what…
The In Between
You may have noticed it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve written and rewritten this blog multiple times and have yet to publish it. Mainly because one day I write and feel one way and the next day I write and feel another. Some days it feels too whiny, other days too depressing, and other days too fake. I’ve promised honesty here, and to come and pretend that everything is sunshine and rainbows would be disingenuous. But to be morose and talk only about the depression I’m facing or the grief I’m trying to process wouldn’t be entirely honest either. I’m in the in-between. I have a newborn,…
Hospital Stays & Grace for Days
I’m adjusting to being a family of 5. I’ve always heard that going from 2 to 3 is difficult, and I can now attest that is not a lie. (Not that I ever imagined it was). Trying to get out of the house… Dear friend, please give up on the hope of me ever being anywhere on time again. Since arriving in Texas our little girl has been showered with love by friends and family and I absolutely love it. (She received the same in Arkansas!) Our boys have also been getting the spoiled. I fear that their idea of Christmas time now means bunches of people giving them presents day…
Things I Didn’t Expect
An extreme outpouring of love: I’m sorry, dear friends, that I underestimated you. I truly expected people to ask why we were doing this. Or worse, people who were afraid to love our baby girl because of the inevitable loss (that we’re praying is years and years away). But that’s not what we found. We found hundreds of people who are excited for our little one. Tons of people who love her and want to shower her, and us, with that love for as long as possible. Thank you for blowing me away with your beautiful hearts. Hormones: I thought if I didn’t birth a baby I wouldn’t be an…
Welcome to the World Little One
Welcome the newest edition to our family! In keeping with our theme here, let’s call her Wonder Woman. And she certainly is our little wonder. She came to us in a whirlwind of surprise and activity and we are thrilled to have her. The day before Thanksgiving we were told about two different special needs babies, one in Arkansas and another in a different state, and asked if we would like to be adoptive families for either of them. We were under the impression that there wasn’t much of a hurry to make a decision, but we knew we would make one before the offices were open on Monday. At…
The Dog Days of Summer are Over
I have a story to tell you about my youngest son. If you’re having a rough day, I think this will put it in perspective…. This morning I was attempting to get ready before I realized that all of the exciting things I was looking forward to today would be cancelled. Thanks rain. The oldest is watching TV in my bed and the youngest is running around upstairs being a handful. He wants to feed the dogs, so he opens up the container and does so, it’s very messy. I don’t complain because it’s entertaining him, but then notice that he’s not just feeding the dogs he’s also eating their…
Profile Books and Patiently Waiting
When an expectant parent comes to Bethany, or a mother who has given birth in the hospital, she will receive counseling to help her work through options for herself and her child. This really is nonjudgemental and unbiased counseling. Our social worker told us that only about 1/3 of the mothers that come to Bethany end up placing a child for adoption through Bethany. That number actually makes me happy because I know that their focus is truly on taking care of women and helping them decide what is best without pressuring them to adopt. If/when she is sure that adoption is her choice she will talk with her counselor…
Crazy Trains and Time Wasters
There are a lot of mothers in my group of friends and many of them are first time moms. For some reason I’ve been getting comments lately implying these mothers think I’ve got it all together. I attribute that to their sleep deprived minds being unable to see reality clearly. But as I think about it, maybe there are some factors that are contributing to this misinterpretation of life in our household. My two kids typically appear clean, well fed, and clothed, they seem to like each other and myself, many days I can be seen in public without yelling at my children, and we are intentionally attempting to add a…
Snow Days and Slight Delays
Fundraising Update: We had our first fundraiser! The amazing Stacey of Cute E’s Photography hosted mini sessions and asked her clients to donate their session fees to us. The pictures are beautiful and the financial blessing is incredible and encouraging! The sessions were $75 and 6 people took advantage of it. Because Stacey is such a kind person, she’s continuing to offer the discounted sessions for us and will continue to donate the session fee to our adoption. I am so thankful for Stacey and to God for putting her in our lives. Not only have we gotten amazing pictures but we’ve also gotten to know a wonderful and encouraging…
