Telling Whoppers

The other night, my dad and I were driving with a car full of boys. The four boys ranged in age from 4 to 13, and their conversations were comical and varied; farts, dogs, superheroes, and all manner of randomness. Their energy was pinging around the car, a last hurrah before getting home for bedtime. I was only partially listening to their conversation when my  ears picked on a whopper of a tale coming from the backseat. A story from one of the boys about how he helped a wolf in his backyard. “Fortunately” this little boy was a hero, calmly letting the wolf out and away from his dogs. He informed us that you can’t make fast movements around wolves, so he moved slowly as he safely helped the wolf out of his yard in suburban Colorado.

“That would be really cool.” I said.

“It really happened” he insisted.

“Huh. Well I’m glad you were safe.”

My dad and I looked at each other out of the corner of our eyes, hiding our smiles and holding in chuckles. This kiddo is known for such tales, as wild as wolves and as ridiculous as being positive that he absolutely did not do that thing that I just saw him doing. Typical childhood behaviors, tall tales and white lies.

Most of us told such fibs as children, vehemently proclaiming our innocence and denying accusations with a smeared chocolatey face. Fortunately, we grow up and realize that no one believes there was a wolf in our backyard, and we simply own up to our chocolatey indulgences. But we don’t stop lying, we just get better at it.

We get too good at those rote answers, “I’m good,” “it’s fine,” or “not much” to the oft asked “How are you?” “What’s wrong?” and “What’s up?” They just pop out of our mouths, hiding the truth. We lie to the people around us, giving no sign of anxiety, depression, anger, fear, guilt, shame, hurt, and pain. Not that we should unload our heavy stuff on the barista making our coffee who perfunctorily asks “how are you?” But we shouldn’t lie to our friends and family with words, attitudes, and actions that belie the truth.

After my last blog post, my mom commented that I hid my anxiety well. While I take it as a compliment that I wasn’t the hot mess I felt like, it also opened my eyes to how much I had been downplaying my true feelings. I used a carefully crafted appearance of nonchalance to lie and tell a whopper as big as the wolf story. In doing so, I created a situation inside of me that was boiling furiously because I wouldn’t just come out and admit that I’m scared. Instead, I side stepped the topics that rile my anxiety and pretended that my heart doesn’t feel heavy every time I think about her surgery. 

The Bible says to “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal 6:2) When I hide my needs from those who are trustworthy, I prevent them from experiencing the privilege of obeying God. I also limit myself to feebly carrying a heavy load alone. Because I’ve noticed that when I try to handle them without the assistance of other people, I’m also not taking them to God. He says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6-7. It’s a team effort, and I am thankful to all of those on my team who are lifting us up in prayer and bearing the burden of my fear.