Hazelnuts, Sour Candy, and Love

Two weeks into the new year, and my Christmas stockings are still hanging. Not with care, though. Santa has come and gone, and now the stockings hang sadly, judging me for not putting them away. They’re quieter than the Christmas tree that is practically screaming at me. [I’m working on it.] But I have five kids, and learning to tune out the noise is a survival skill. So, these Christmas decorations linger. 

Most of the stockings are empty, but mine has a handful of Ferrero Rochers still nestled in the toe. I typically get them on holidays because they’re special chocolate. I don’t know if it’s special because they’re gold foil-wrapped or if hazelnut elevates it into fancy status. I just know you’re not taking a box of them into the movie theaters; that would be weird. 

If you’ve never had one of these candies, you’re missing out (unless you’re allergic to tree nuts.) They come individually wrapped in gold foil nestled inside a paper liner. Unwrapping it, you find a chocolate ball flecked with bits of hazelnut. When you bite into it, past the hard chocolate exterior, you’re met with a fine, crunchy wafer surrounding creamy hazelnut chocolate that melts in your mouth and, finally, a whole roasted hazelnut. Crunchy, creamy, hazelnutty goodness. 

If I had to describe myself as a candy, this would be it. Not that many people ask me to describe myself as candy. But the over-analyzer in me has been thinking about it lately. In recent months, I’ve made a concerted effort to get to know more of the people in my community. I want to connect with other women purposefully. To know them and their experiences. To foster relationships where we see each other, not just the kind where we wave hi as we pass each other on a Sunday. But the introvert in me struggles. As Taylor Swift sings it, I’m the problem. 

I’m like this chocolate; my outside takes some work to crack, while my inside is soft-hearted and a little nutty. When I ask a simple question, “What do you do for fun?” I hear things like hiking and camping, skiing and sports, or board games and trivia nights. I’m fascinated by these people that do things. Because me, what do I do for fun? Umm…. Eating? Sleeping? (Am I just saying things that are human conditions for living?) Trying to watch a TV show before bed where I don’t fall asleep? Or, the oft-asked, “What do you do for work?” Well, I have five kids, so…. that. I do lead worship at our church. But in this season of life, it’s still focused primarily on the kids. Giving meds, managing schedules, teaching tweens how to be responsible and contributing family members, answering yes or no to any and every request, and reading emails from a million teachers/coaches/doctors/etc.,  all while cleaning up after the chaos that is a three-year-old. 

I wonder what kind of candy these ladies would describe themselves as. Maybe Nerds Gummy Clusters, sweet and bright with an intriguing center. Or Werthers Butterscotch, a classically beautiful, old soul. Maybe they’d identify as trail mix, a well-rounded personality of salty and sweet, always up for adventure (and probably hiking). Or, possibly, they feel more like a Sour Patch Kid. First, they’re sour, then they’re sweet. Or a Red Hot— gotta love a woman with some fire. 

And while I wouldn’t necessarily go around pairing hazelnut chocolate with Sour Patch Kids, that’s only for candy. It’s easy to make assumptions that friendship and connection require commonality. We assume that we have to like the same things, vote the same way, or be in a similar season in life to have a meaningful connection with someone. And sure, that makes it easier; that’s how most people make/maintain relationships. But in a kingdom economy, unity is simpler. “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect unity.” (Col 3:15). Not that simple means easy, but possible because of the love we’ve already received. “We love because He first loved us… And this commandment we have from Him, whoever loves God must also love his brother.” (1 John 4:19, 21)

So let’s bind it up, my friends. Love those of us who are a little bit nutty or those who are sour. Love beyond our introverted natures or our firey tendencies. Love when it’s easy and when it’s hard. Love because that is our command as well as our gift. And this gift lasts far longer than melting chocolate or a single Christmas season, even one whose decorations still aren’t put away.