Thankful for the Little Things
When dinner time arrives, after the chaos of cooking, setting the table, getting drinks, arguing with kids over who sits next to whom, and how to keep negative opinions to yourself, when we’ve all settled into our places, we take turns naming things we’re thankful for. It’s one way we’re trying to cultivate a heart of thankfulness and gratitude in our children. Though I can’t take credit for the idea. My parents started this tradition during my grumpy tween years of ‘everything is awful, nothing good has ever happened in my entire life.’ As my mom told me then, “I don’t care if it’s that you liked your ponytail today,…
Home is Where the Heart Is
Home is where the heart is, or so the old adage goes. But that doesn’t accurately encompass the complexities of military life. My children and my husband are my heart, and they’re here with me, but Colorado doesn’t feel like home yet. So when does a place feel like home and not just a place you live? I recently posed the question on my Facebook page confident that my military connections would have the answer. Responses included: When you can get to the grocery store without navigation When you make real/genuine friendships When you feel comfortable in the area When you’re involved in the community (both an answer and a…
- Adoption, Depression, Faith, Family, Grief, Hydranencephaly, Life, Love, patience, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month. It’s also the month that Wonder Woman was born, and marks the day we heard those life changing words over the phone, “She is yours.” My cell reception was awful that night and the audio cut in and out as I paced across blue kitchen tile and said her name over and over to our social worker, hoping she would accurately hear it. This name was treasured by us and had been held in my heart for years as I waited for a baby girl. The most important thing—the only thing—I could do for our little girl right then was give her her name. Despite…
- Adoption, Faith, Family, Hope, Hydranencephaly, Life, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
Impossible
“It’s impossible.” I told God. Well, I didn’t tell him those exact words, my actions did. I stopped praying for something that’s been heavy on my heart. I gave up hope. I know he’s the God of miracles, but I’ve been praying for years and this thing felt too far gone. I became frustrated praying for something that repeatedly went unanswered. My persistence didn’t seem to pay off, things are no better than when I started praying. It is extremely hard to have faith in God when it feels like he’s letting you down. My mind attempts mental gymnastics to not face the reality that God can simultaneously be sovereign and…
Under Pressure
I was excited walking into the first week of homework for a new-to-me Bible study on marriage. I’ve been doing women’s Bible studies for years on a variety of topics and books of the Bible, but this is the first time I have focused on my marriage with other women. Given the solid relationship John and I have enjoyed for over a decade, I was confident that this would simply build on our secure foundation. Fast forward to the second week of homework and I found myself sitting in my bed doing said homework amidst a pile of pillows and tears. I wanted to throw the book onto the floor,…
Disappearing Mountains
I recently got prescription glasses. I was the last hold out in my childhood family of 4, but driving around in a new city and squinting while attempting to read street signs wasn’t my cup of tea, so I caved. It’s not a strong prescription, but when I slipped on the metal frames and looked out across the horizon I was amazed at the clarity of the mountains here. I didn’t realize that the slightly blurry haze to their peaks was the result of my impaired vision, not their distance. On a clear day, when the sun shines down from a brilliant blue sky onto the mountains, the view is…
Telling Whoppers
The other night, my dad and I were driving with a car full of boys. The four boys ranged in age from 4 to 13, and their conversations were comical and varied; farts, dogs, superheroes, and all manner of randomness. Their energy was pinging around the car, a last hurrah before getting home for bedtime. I was only partially listening to their conversation when my ears picked on a whopper of a tale coming from the backseat. A story from one of the boys about how he helped a wolf in his backyard. “Fortunately” this little boy was a hero, calmly letting the wolf out and away from his dogs.…
- Adoption, Depression, Family, Grief, Hydranencephaly, Life, Pressure, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
Red Rover
It was sunset, and I was driving south down a long road. Looking to the west out my passenger window I could see for miles. There was an unobstructed view of the mountains, silhouetted and backlit by a gorgeous orange glow. The sun had sunk below the peaks, its radiance shining upward, turning the sky into a stunning display of colors, blending yellows, oranges, pinks, and purples in an ombre affect only God could create. Out my driver’s side window to the east the view was dark, mixed hues of purples and blues, and lit by the bright orb of an almost full moon. Beautiful in its own right, but…
You’ll Miss These Days
I almost did it. I almost said the dreaded words, the ones you’re not supposed to say to a mom of young children. Ever. “You’ll miss these days.” I bit my tongue hard, refusing to let the thought in my head come out of my mouth. I’ve read enough blogs and Facebook vents to know no one wants to hear that. I was talking to a mom of two little girls, deep in the thick of the toddler-preschool years. Those years where your child is independent but not. Where they are exhausting and maddening and require your attention all day, and sometimes all night. Where your life revolves around being…
Mean Mommy
I’ve got a confession to make. I’m a mean mom. Though it’s not exactly a secret. My kids have yelled it rather loudly, that’s how I know it’s true. I decided to see if I could discern a pattern, so I began to take note of the occasions the phrase was uttered. In the end, I wasn’t able to keep a running list because the reasons change with the breeze, too fast to keep up. Here’s a small sample: No, you can’t have candy for breakfast. No iPads before school. Stop fighting now because in 7.2 seconds someone will be hurt. No, I’m not buying you glasses, you don’t need…
