- Adoption, Depression, Family, Grief, Hydranencephaly, Life, Pressure, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
Red Rover
It was sunset, and I was driving south down a long road. Looking to the west out my passenger window I could see for miles. There was an unobstructed view of the mountains, silhouetted and backlit by a gorgeous orange glow. The sun had sunk below the peaks, its radiance shining upward, turning the sky into a stunning display of colors, blending yellows, oranges, pinks, and purples in an ombre affect only God could create. Out my driver’s side window to the east the view was dark, mixed hues of purples and blues, and lit by the bright orb of an almost full moon. Beautiful in its own right, but…
You’ll Miss These Days
I almost did it. I almost said the dreaded words, the ones you’re not supposed to say to a mom of young children. Ever. “You’ll miss these days.” I bit my tongue hard, refusing to let the thought in my head come out of my mouth. I’ve read enough blogs and Facebook vents to know no one wants to hear that. I was talking to a mom of two little girls, deep in the thick of the toddler-preschool years. Those years where your child is independent but not. Where they are exhausting and maddening and require your attention all day, and sometimes all night. Where your life revolves around being…
Mean Mommy
I’ve got a confession to make. I’m a mean mom. Though it’s not exactly a secret. My kids have yelled it rather loudly, that’s how I know it’s true. I decided to see if I could discern a pattern, so I began to take note of the occasions the phrase was uttered. In the end, I wasn’t able to keep a running list because the reasons change with the breeze, too fast to keep up. Here’s a small sample: No, you can’t have candy for breakfast. No iPads before school. Stop fighting now because in 7.2 seconds someone will be hurt. No, I’m not buying you glasses, you don’t need…
Fruit & Consequences
My nephew sat at our kitchen table writing scripture, a consequence for something he had done. I sat across from him overseeing his progress. As children are known to do, he was whining and crying, arguing and bargaining, anything and everything he possibly could to get out of the simple task. “If I say it to you 5 times can I just write it 4 times?” “No.” “Grandpa lets me do it that way.” “I’m not.” Heavy sobs burst out, “but it’s so hard!” “I know.” “But I’ve been working real hard at not fighting this week.” “You have, I’m really proud of you.” “It’s taking so long and I’m…
4, 6, 8, 13, 16, 32
I can remember myself as an 18 year old walking down the aisle, orange roses in hand, scorched by the Texas sun but focused only on the handsome man waiting for me. I was a fledgling baby adult, thinking I was grown- the hallmark of those who aren’t yet. I was marrying my best friend, he was joining the military, life was going to be perfect. We were going to have the white picket fence with 2 kids and 2 dogs. Our life would be a picture of stability, comfort, and well behaved children. My short sightedness makes me chuckle. I’ve always been a daydreamer, prone to idealism. I couldn’t…
From the Oceans to the Mountains
Every blog I’ve written in the last couple of years has started with a simple thought. Over a short (and sometimes not so short) amount of time, the idea rolled around in my brain until it was fleshed out and shared here in my blog. But for the past month, ideas haven’t had time to marinate or be thoughtfully considered, hence the lack of posting. My brain has been functioning in a hop-skip-jump pattern. It’s the effect of trying to process too many things at one time and ending up glitching like the little girl in Wreck-It-Ralph. The catalyst behind my glitch? We moved. From the beautiful beaches of the…
The Ones Who Came Before
I sat on the brown suede couch, body sunk deep in the well loved cushions. I needed a friend. Potty training was not going well. So much pee, so much poop, so much mess. He wasn’t getting it. I was exhausted and frustrated by the endless unproductive bathroom trips that resulted in a pee puddle on the floor 5 minutes later. I was also trying to juggle a 6 month old baby who wouldn’t sleep at night and somehow also keep up with the piles of smelly, urine soaked clothes. I was miserable and defeated. She gave me helpful advice, but most of all, she encouraged me. She rallied my…
So long, Baxter
12 years ago, we did something foolish, as 19 and 22 year olds are known to do. It is the faux pas of many a young military couple, and we fell into the same trap. We bought a brand new car with a massive loan, a 2007 Toyota Prius. We named him Baxter. My “responsible” 30-something self would counsel anyone at that age and in those shoes to just say no. It’s not a good idea to have a car payment that big, your husband is only an E4 and you don’t have a steady job, I would tell her. You still owe on your trade-in, that loan is too…
Avengers & Easter
I just bought my tickets to Avengers Endgame. The end of an era. Starting with Iron Man in 2008, Marvel has released 21 movies, soon to be 22, and John and I have seen all but one in theaters. To include that time in 2014 we were asked to leave the theater because we tried to take a baby. We have been dedicated to these stories and characters for over a decade, and in just a couple weeks this iteration will come to an end. If you couldn’t tell, we are pretty big fans of superheroes around here. My favorites have been the characters with a strong moral compass, like…
