Under Pressure
I was excited walking into the first week of homework for a new-to-me Bible study on marriage. I’ve been doing women’s Bible studies for years on a variety of topics and books of the Bible, but this is the first time I have focused on my marriage with other women. Given the solid relationship John and I have enjoyed for over a decade, I was confident that this would simply build on our secure foundation. Fast forward to the second week of homework and I found myself sitting in my bed doing said homework amidst a pile of pillows and tears. I wanted to throw the book onto the floor,…
Disappearing Mountains
I recently got prescription glasses. I was the last hold out in my childhood family of 4, but driving around in a new city and squinting while attempting to read street signs wasn’t my cup of tea, so I caved. It’s not a strong prescription, but when I slipped on the metal frames and looked out across the horizon I was amazed at the clarity of the mountains here. I didn’t realize that the slightly blurry haze to their peaks was the result of my impaired vision, not their distance. On a clear day, when the sun shines down from a brilliant blue sky onto the mountains, the view is…
Telling Whoppers
The other night, my dad and I were driving with a car full of boys. The four boys ranged in age from 4 to 13, and their conversations were comical and varied; farts, dogs, superheroes, and all manner of randomness. Their energy was pinging around the car, a last hurrah before getting home for bedtime. I was only partially listening to their conversation when my ears picked on a whopper of a tale coming from the backseat. A story from one of the boys about how he helped a wolf in his backyard. “Fortunately” this little boy was a hero, calmly letting the wolf out and away from his dogs.…
- Adoption, Depression, Family, Grief, Hydranencephaly, Life, Pressure, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
Red Rover
It was sunset, and I was driving south down a long road. Looking to the west out my passenger window I could see for miles. There was an unobstructed view of the mountains, silhouetted and backlit by a gorgeous orange glow. The sun had sunk below the peaks, its radiance shining upward, turning the sky into a stunning display of colors, blending yellows, oranges, pinks, and purples in an ombre affect only God could create. Out my driver’s side window to the east the view was dark, mixed hues of purples and blues, and lit by the bright orb of an almost full moon. Beautiful in its own right, but…
You’ll Miss These Days
I almost did it. I almost said the dreaded words, the ones you’re not supposed to say to a mom of young children. Ever. “You’ll miss these days.” I bit my tongue hard, refusing to let the thought in my head come out of my mouth. I’ve read enough blogs and Facebook vents to know no one wants to hear that. I was talking to a mom of two little girls, deep in the thick of the toddler-preschool years. Those years where your child is independent but not. Where they are exhausting and maddening and require your attention all day, and sometimes all night. Where your life revolves around being…
Mean Mommy
I’ve got a confession to make. I’m a mean mom. Though it’s not exactly a secret. My kids have yelled it rather loudly, that’s how I know it’s true. I decided to see if I could discern a pattern, so I began to take note of the occasions the phrase was uttered. In the end, I wasn’t able to keep a running list because the reasons change with the breeze, too fast to keep up. Here’s a small sample: No, you can’t have candy for breakfast. No iPads before school. Stop fighting now because in 7.2 seconds someone will be hurt. No, I’m not buying you glasses, you don’t need…
Fruit & Consequences
My nephew sat at our kitchen table writing scripture, a consequence for something he had done. I sat across from him overseeing his progress. As children are known to do, he was whining and crying, arguing and bargaining, anything and everything he possibly could to get out of the simple task. “If I say it to you 5 times can I just write it 4 times?” “No.” “Grandpa lets me do it that way.” “I’m not.” Heavy sobs burst out, “but it’s so hard!” “I know.” “But I’ve been working real hard at not fighting this week.” “You have, I’m really proud of you.” “It’s taking so long and I’m…
4, 6, 8, 13, 16, 32
I can remember myself as an 18 year old walking down the aisle, orange roses in hand, scorched by the Texas sun but focused only on the handsome man waiting for me. I was a fledgling baby adult, thinking I was grown- the hallmark of those who aren’t yet. I was marrying my best friend, he was joining the military, life was going to be perfect. We were going to have the white picket fence with 2 kids and 2 dogs. Our life would be a picture of stability, comfort, and well behaved children. My short sightedness makes me chuckle. I’ve always been a daydreamer, prone to idealism. I couldn’t…
From the Oceans to the Mountains
Every blog I’ve written in the last couple of years has started with a simple thought. Over a short (and sometimes not so short) amount of time, the idea rolled around in my brain until it was fleshed out and shared here in my blog. But for the past month, ideas haven’t had time to marinate or be thoughtfully considered, hence the lack of posting. My brain has been functioning in a hop-skip-jump pattern. It’s the effect of trying to process too many things at one time and ending up glitching like the little girl in Wreck-It-Ralph. The catalyst behind my glitch? We moved. From the beautiful beaches of the…
