In Defense Of…
Tears slid down my cheeks in a steady flow, creating tracks through my makeup and collecting at my chin until they released in fat droplets. The grey of my dress darkened where each one splattered on the fabric. I occasionally wiped at my chin, involuntarily brushing away tears that tickled my skin. I sat with my husband and our adoption social worker, and together we faced a selection of hospital representatives. The table was large for our small group, able to fit double the amount of current occupants. I was thankful that the wide span of the table created a gap between us so that I didn’t have to sit…
- Adoption, Faith, Family, Hope, Hydranencephaly, Life, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
Impossible
“It’s impossible.” I told God. Well, I didn’t tell him those exact words, my actions did. I stopped praying for something that’s been heavy on my heart. I gave up hope. I know he’s the God of miracles, but I’ve been praying for years and this thing felt too far gone. I became frustrated praying for something that repeatedly went unanswered. My persistence didn’t seem to pay off, things are no better than when I started praying. It is extremely hard to have faith in God when it feels like he’s letting you down. My mind attempts mental gymnastics to not face the reality that God can simultaneously be sovereign and…
