Another Blank Page
There’s something special about the turn of a new year. I enjoy watching it play out on social media. I love to see people acknowledge the things they’ve survived and turn with a hopeful eye to the new year. It’s a white page waiting for the first strokes of paint to color it beautiful, an empty journal waiting for the first words of prose to fill it, a blank staff ready for the opening notes of a new melody. December 31st feels like standing on a precipice, waiting to take the first step into something exciting and new. And then sometimes the clock strikes 12, and you get slapped in…
2019: A Year in Review
Another year down, another whirlwind survived. Here’s a snapshot of all the things the Robertsons did last year. What We’ve Learned: Flash: How to walk, run, talk, play, eat, get in kitchen cabinets, and steal remote controls. It’s been a busy year. Wonder Woman: How to push a switch button to play with toys. Batman: How to leverage cuteness for desired outcomes, most notably candy, happy meals, and IHOP. Superman: How to read independently. Mom: How to consistently(ish) write a blog. Dad: How to fit 4 kids, 4 car seats, 2 dogs, a dog kennel, 2 adults, a wheelchair, a double stroller, multiple suitcases, and a stash of medical supplies…
Waiting After Christmas
I sit amidst piles of boxes and stray wrapping paper as the chaos of the last few weeks comes to a pause. It’s an inhaled breath, held and waiting before we exhale back into normal. The holidays are coming to a close; with one last hurrah, we’ll ring in a new year, the list of holiday to-dos will be finished, and Hallmark and I will both go back to our regularly scheduled programming. The days after Christmas always feel odd to me. For 24 days in December, anticipation and excitement brew, twinkling in our eyes like lights on a tree. Then the morning finally comes, and we celebrate. The paper…
Silly Traditions & New Resolutions
Ten years ago, John and I rang in the new year/new decade on a snow-covered rooftop in Seoul. We took our dogs and two bottles of sparkling cider to the top of our apartment building and looked out across the skyline for fireworks. We couldn’t see any from our vantage point, but we laughed at our failed plan and enjoyed each other’s company anyway. As the clock struck midnight, we participated in our annual cider chug– a silly tradition started by my brother in the early 2000s. Each person cracks a bottle of sparkling cider or grape juice and races to drink their beverage first. The bottles had chilled in…
The Gift of Friendship
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year… I hope you’re singing that song in your head, though you might disagree with the sentiment. Instead, it might be the most expensive time of the year, the most stressful time of the year, the most depressing time of the year, or the most lonely time of the year. The holidays have a way of sending emotions into overdrive. Twinkling lights, Hallmark movies, and sugar cookies can make some people overflow with joy. But for others, the happiness everyone else seems to feel causes a quick descent in the opposite direction. It feels like Eeyore walking around underneath a raincloud, wondering how…
As White as Snow
The snow came in overnight, silently and persistently dropping tiny flakes for hours while we slept. When I awoke, my window offered the view of a pristine, white blanket that had covered the gravel, half-dead grass, and copious amounts of dog poop in my backyard. Buried by a thick layer of snow, there was no proof of our sloppy yard maintenance or the four dogs that live in our home. There was only the perfect, blinding whiteness of the powder-soft snow, coating every inch of ground, smoothing over rough edges. Colorado abounds with beauty that points me to God, from the mountains to the sunsets to the rolling prairies, I’m…
Thankful for the Little Things
When dinner time arrives, after the chaos of cooking, setting the table, getting drinks, arguing with kids over who sits next to whom, and how to keep negative opinions to yourself, when we’ve all settled into our places, we take turns naming things we’re thankful for. It’s one way we’re trying to cultivate a heart of thankfulness and gratitude in our children. Though I can’t take credit for the idea. My parents started this tradition during my grumpy tween years of ‘everything is awful, nothing good has ever happened in my entire life.’ As my mom told me then, “I don’t care if it’s that you liked your ponytail today,…
Home is Where the Heart Is
Home is where the heart is, or so the old adage goes. But that doesn’t accurately encompass the complexities of military life. My children and my husband are my heart, and they’re here with me, but Colorado doesn’t feel like home yet. So when does a place feel like home and not just a place you live? I recently posed the question on my Facebook page confident that my military connections would have the answer. Responses included: When you can get to the grocery store without navigation When you make real/genuine friendships When you feel comfortable in the area When you’re involved in the community (both an answer and a…
- Adoption, Depression, Faith, Family, Grief, Hydranencephaly, Life, Love, patience, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month. It’s also the month that Wonder Woman was born, and marks the day we heard those life changing words over the phone, “She is yours.” My cell reception was awful that night and the audio cut in and out as I paced across blue kitchen tile and said her name over and over to our social worker, hoping she would accurately hear it. This name was treasured by us and had been held in my heart for years as I waited for a baby girl. The most important thing—the only thing—I could do for our little girl right then was give her her name. Despite…
- Adoption, Faith, Family, Hope, Hydranencephaly, Life, Special Needs, Special Needs Parenting, Unexpected
Impossible
“It’s impossible.” I told God. Well, I didn’t tell him those exact words, my actions did. I stopped praying for something that’s been heavy on my heart. I gave up hope. I know he’s the God of miracles, but I’ve been praying for years and this thing felt too far gone. I became frustrated praying for something that repeatedly went unanswered. My persistence didn’t seem to pay off, things are no better than when I started praying. It is extremely hard to have faith in God when it feels like he’s letting you down. My mind attempts mental gymnastics to not face the reality that God can simultaneously be sovereign and…
