Name Calling is not Kind
“You’re a yucky baby!”
“You’re a poopy head!” My boys taunt each other. I can tell that this started silly by their tone, but it’s about to snowball, and these joking gibes will cause hurt feelings. It has the potential to escalate to words like ‘idiot’ and ‘stupid,’ words that will undoubtedly get them in trouble. This is why, joking or not, we do not allow name-calling in our house.
“Excuse me,” I cut in, “That’s not okay. What do we use our words for?”
“Kindness and truth,” they respond in unison, though the younger one pronounces it, “twooth.”
“That’s right. If it’s not true and if it’s not kind, then you don’t need to say it.”
“Yes ma’am,” they respond again in unison, chastened for the time being.
I want my boys to understand that the pairing of kindness and truth is crucial. Kindness can lie, and truth can be unkind, so they must come hand in hand. And it’s not just my boys that are working on using their words wisely– I am too. They’ve heard me yell the truth, “I said, get your shoes on now!” loud enough to know that sometimes I fail, and my spoken truth is unkind. But we keep trying because it matters. Speaking with kindness and truth matters in our home, outside of our home, and even in the virtual world.
On social media, during an election year, in particular, it seems like kindness and truth have run out and that the barrel is bone dry. John 13:35 says, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Not if you support a specific political platform or win arguments on Facebook, only if you love one another.
Which is actually pretty simple. We love others by speaking to them with kindness and truth, whether our words are spoken or typed, whether they’re copy and pasted or original, and whether they come in a funny meme or not. Our words have weight, they are important, and whether or not we realize it, they can have an eternal impact. Our political jab, our ungracious arguments, our twisted truth can push people away from the gospel. Likewise, our kindness in the face of opposition, our truth spoken in love, and our actions toward those who disagree with us can draw people to the gospel and its life-saving message.
I won’t pretend that this upcoming election isn’t important; whatever our nation decides will significantly impact the next four years and beyond— it’s what happens every election. But the God we serve is eternal, and I can only imagine what four years looks like from his perspective. And this sovereign and eternal God has commanded us to go and preach the good news (Mark 16:15) not go and preach your platform. He told us to “go and make disciples” (Matt 28:19), not go and make amendments. He’s commanded us to love him with all our being and to love others as we love ourselves (Matt 22:37-39). No matter how strong our opinions are, we must not cling to them more strongly than we hold onto kindness and truth. And when we put God first, where he belongs, he will lead us to act in ways that bring him glory– by loving others.
Will you join my boys and me in evaluating your words and asking 1) Is this true? 2) Is it kind? Because we shouldn’t call other people poopy heads.
“Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless and leads to the ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:14-15 (NASB)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
