Infants & Tweens: Things That Make You Tired
It’s hard to believe that it’s been ten years since I became a mom. I remember those awkward postpartum days, rocked by a whole new way of life. My belly was squishy in a way it’s never recovered from. There was all this weird postpartum hair loss coating my shower wall. And I was exhausted— sleep-deprived and always on the verge of tears about it. I watched my friends with slightly older kids lay their little ones down to bed, and their babies just went to sleep in the crib, just like that. They slept without requiring rocking and singing and tiptoeing out of the room, only to start the process over in two hours. And I wondered, what is this witchcraft? When will that be me? Might I die from tiredness? I wanted to shake someone and beg them to tell me when I would finally sleep again.
Since that was a solid decade ago, I’ve also been the mom who has seen friends look at me with the wild-eyed desperation of sleep deprivation. They want to know the same things I did— when will my baby sleep? And I try to be gentle as I answer, “eventually,” which is not the answer she wants to hear. But it’s the truth. Eventually, her baby will sleep. This phase won’t last forever. It will almost certainly be longer than she wants it to be, but it will get better. Unfortunately, while she’s in it, it will feel like an eternity, and being in the middle with no end in sight, that hopeless feeling like sleep is now lost to you forever (even if logically you know that’s not true), that part is just as exhausting as the lack of sleep itself. With five kids, I’ve seen it all. I’ve had great sleepers, terrible sleepers, and a couple in between— shout out to my youngest, who waited 22 months to sleep through the night. So, I try to be encouraging without giving false hope because I know it’s hard, and I know it will end. Eventually.
I no longer have an infant in the house, and I finally feel like I’ve got the baby portion of parenting down. Yet I am somehow that desperate mom all over again. This time I’m the first-time mom of a tween wondering when, dear Lord, will this attitude end? I am exhausted by this whole tween thing. I think it’s normal. I’m fairly certain that this is a phase that everyone goes through. (Right? It’s not just me?) So could someone please give me some hope on when this will end? I look ahead at my friends sending their kids off to college, and I’m like, wow, look at what cool people they raised. Look at their accomplishments; look at how genuinely proud of their character those parents are. I know it’s social media, but those kids genuinely seem to like their parents. Is that a real thing?
What I need to know is, how long are we talking here? Because I don’t want to rush these years; I know how precious they are. I’ve watched the last decade pass by in a blur. I adored that tiny newborn in my arms; he was everything I ever wanted, with his tiny fingers, gorgeous dark eyes, and squishy cheeks. I just wanted to enjoy him and also sleep. I don’t want to rush these years either. I’m nowhere near ready to see him driving or applying to college and *gulp* dating. I adore my oldest son; he is everything I ever wanted. I’m so proud of who he is, my caring, compassionate, crazy-smart son. I’d just like to enjoy him with a little [lot] less attitude. So can someone tell me when?
The answer is eventually, isn’t it?
