Sheer Hubris
There’s a moment at the end of the day when the commotion stops. When the whack-a-mole game of getting our kids to bed– and keeping them there– has been won, and the prize is stillness. Silence slowly descends as the baby stops babbling, big brothers stop talking in their beds, and even the dogs have curled up to sleep and stopped clicking their paws on hardwood floors. As the day winds down, I finalize things for the evening, making sure dishes are clean and put away, and that shoes aren’t lying in hallways as middle-of-the-night tripping hazards. My mind takes this opportunity to go into overdrive. It seems when my…
What I’m Capable of
I logged onto my gym app and looked at the workout for the next day. Heavy power cleans and wall balls. The first movement is weightlifting, using technique and strength to get a barbell from the floor to your shoulders; the goal was to go heavy that day. Power cleans happen to be my favorite movement in all of Crossfit. The second movement wasn’t heavy, per se, but exhausting and repetitive. You take a large, weighted ball, squat with it, and then stand up and throw it at a 10’ mark. You then catch it and go straight back into the squat of the next repetition and do this over…
Clingy Toddlers
Sweet baby Flash isn’t such a baby anymore. At 18 months old, we’ve got a toddler in the house again, and this little boy lives up to his nickname. Turn your head for a second, and he’s gone, scaling furniture, digging through cabinets, and getting into mischief. He knows what he wants, and he goes after it. When he’s not getting what he wants, he’s quite vocal. I do believe he’s the most opinionated and expressive of the Robertson children. Heaven help us. Aside from the yelling at me portion, I do love this phase. I love that Flash recognizes me as the one who meets his needs. I’m the…
Angry Mommy
I lost it. Like, really lost it. ‘It’ being my self-control, my patience, my compassion, my rational thinking, all gone. There was nothing redeemable about that moment with my child. In it, I was her, the genuinely crappy mom. I have my moments, and this was one. If my emotions were animated, it would be as Cruella de Vil having a psychotic break with reality, eyes clouded by anger and driving this metaphorical car forward with my rage sure to end the exchange in a fiery crash. This isn’t the mom I want to be. This isn’t the mom I want my kids to have. Yet sometimes I find myself…
Another Blank Page
There’s something special about the turn of a new year. I enjoy watching it play out on social media. I love to see people acknowledge the things they’ve survived and turn with a hopeful eye to the new year. It’s a white page waiting for the first strokes of paint to color it beautiful, an empty journal waiting for the first words of prose to fill it, a blank staff ready for the opening notes of a new melody. December 31st feels like standing on a precipice, waiting to take the first step into something exciting and new. And then sometimes the clock strikes 12, and you get slapped in…
2019: A Year in Review
Another year down, another whirlwind survived. Here’s a snapshot of all the things the Robertsons did last year. What We’ve Learned: Flash: How to walk, run, talk, play, eat, get in kitchen cabinets, and steal remote controls. It’s been a busy year. Wonder Woman: How to push a switch button to play with toys. Batman: How to leverage cuteness for desired outcomes, most notably candy, happy meals, and IHOP. Superman: How to read independently. Mom: How to consistently(ish) write a blog. Dad: How to fit 4 kids, 4 car seats, 2 dogs, a dog kennel, 2 adults, a wheelchair, a double stroller, multiple suitcases, and a stash of medical supplies…
Waiting After Christmas
I sit amidst piles of boxes and stray wrapping paper as the chaos of the last few weeks comes to a pause. It’s an inhaled breath, held and waiting before we exhale back into normal. The holidays are coming to a close; with one last hurrah, we’ll ring in a new year, the list of holiday to-dos will be finished, and Hallmark and I will both go back to our regularly scheduled programming. The days after Christmas always feel odd to me. For 24 days in December, anticipation and excitement brew, twinkling in our eyes like lights on a tree. Then the morning finally comes, and we celebrate. The paper…
Silly Traditions & New Resolutions
Ten years ago, John and I rang in the new year/new decade on a snow-covered rooftop in Seoul. We took our dogs and two bottles of sparkling cider to the top of our apartment building and looked out across the skyline for fireworks. We couldn’t see any from our vantage point, but we laughed at our failed plan and enjoyed each other’s company anyway. As the clock struck midnight, we participated in our annual cider chug– a silly tradition started by my brother in the early 2000s. Each person cracks a bottle of sparkling cider or grape juice and races to drink their beverage first. The bottles had chilled in…
The Gift of Friendship
It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year… I hope you’re singing that song in your head, though you might disagree with the sentiment. Instead, it might be the most expensive time of the year, the most stressful time of the year, the most depressing time of the year, or the most lonely time of the year. The holidays have a way of sending emotions into overdrive. Twinkling lights, Hallmark movies, and sugar cookies can make some people overflow with joy. But for others, the happiness everyone else seems to feel causes a quick descent in the opposite direction. It feels like Eeyore walking around underneath a raincloud, wondering how…
As White as Snow
The snow came in overnight, silently and persistently dropping tiny flakes for hours while we slept. When I awoke, my window offered the view of a pristine, white blanket that had covered the gravel, half-dead grass, and copious amounts of dog poop in my backyard. Buried by a thick layer of snow, there was no proof of our sloppy yard maintenance or the four dogs that live in our home. There was only the perfect, blinding whiteness of the powder-soft snow, coating every inch of ground, smoothing over rough edges. Colorado abounds with beauty that points me to God, from the mountains to the sunsets to the rolling prairies, I’m…
