Holding Hope
I’m sitting in the shade of my patio, listening to crickets chirp, leaves rustle, and cars pass by in the distance. It’s time to write, the opportunity is ripe, but the clacking of my keys is sparse. I keep looking around me, taking my eyes away from the blinking line awaiting my words, words that don’t want to make the journey from my brain to my fingertips and into this digital world. My eyes continually flit back to the porcelain mug on my glass top table. Drips of coffee have dried on its white surface, there’s a smudge of peanut butter from my breakfast, and the words hope*writers stare back…
Pulling Weeds
These last weeks I have watched our yard come vibrantly to life. The barren brown landscape offered its first hints of color a couple of months ago but held tightly with bated breath. Nature has finally exhaled and brought to life the leaves on our Aspen trees now flickering in the wind, the blossoms on lilac bushes peaking through with clumps of color, and a sprout of what I hope is sage popping out from beneath the faded, old mulch. This beauty should have been enough to force me outdoors to begin the maintenance of such gifts, but it wasn’t. Instead, I watched from my window and enjoyed the view,…
Chapter Books
My oldest is officially a reader, and we have reached the point in our parenting where his presence prevents us from spelling things in covert communication. First grade saw a significant jump in his reading abilities and comprehension. He’s ready for chapter books if I could just convince him that they’re worth his time. Unfortunately, he’s not interested in chapter books. He wants one and done books, not the kind that takes time to get through. A someone who loves reading and writing, it’s frustrating how much he fights me on reading. He hasn’t yet learned the beauty of exploring through books. He hasn’t found joy at the end of…
Making Lemonade
Distance learning in a time of coronavirus is officially over. My children and I have survived the work and each other, and now we’re on to sunny days and freedom (ish). In the end, it worked out surprisingly well for our family. My son, who’s task-oriented, did well working through his daily checklist. At the same time, my free-spirited preschooler was able to incorporate learning throughout the day as opportunities naturally arose. Our daughter even practiced her trunk and head control by watching her preschool teachers read books. It’s not how I imagined ending a school year. I’d have assumed that the only way I’d be teaching my kids from…
Mining for Truth
What is truth? In this world of confusion and speculation, how do I sort the facts from the fiction, the truths from the half-truths, the outright lies from the well-meaning misinformed? It’s an age-old question, but in this time of technology and information, truth seems to be especially hidden, obscured beneath murky waters. Like many people, I have been hoping to find it in a documentary, an academic article, or a presidential press conference. Maybe I can mine it out, scoop and sift to separate golden nuggets of truth from the silt of lies and deception. But to what end? To stand in the virtual world of social media arguing…
Running My Race
My feet hit the pavement marking each step in my jog. It was a slow cadence, not much faster than a power walk, but it was forward motion. I ran past three houses to reach the end of my street and already had that “alright, this is enough” feeling. I told myself to hush and kept moving, continuing my plodding pace forward. The goal was 2.5 miles, so no need to rush out of the gate. Were I to manage it without walking, it would be the longest consecutive run I’d done in years—though my slow pace would define it as a jog. Uptempo pop music played in my ears,…
The Experience of Silence
Silence. Beautiful silence. A stillness that settles in. An opportunity for senses and mind to rest as the barrage of noise stops. Silence offers a respite from processing the TV in the background with the pounding of kids running through the house, along with the verbal cacophony of voices layered over top of each other. When the loudness fades away, the little things pop through, orchestrating a delicate symphony. The taps of rain hitting pavement and windowpanes, creating different sounds on each surface. The tick of a clock establishing a quiet tempo with each passing second. The distant whir of an HVAC system humming a melody. Silence settles in like…
Cultivating Spring
Spring is here. We’re finally getting those first days of 70-degree weather, and the sun is shining her brilliance across blue skies. The brown, dry, brittle colors of winter are giving way to the vibrancy of new buds and blossoms. Beauty springs forth as new life breaks through. New beginnings emerge with the rebirth of plants that looked dead. The tips of barren trees become round and form tiny buds full of potential. Blossoms breakthrough and green reclaims its ground. Despite my appreciation of nature, I’ve never been one to cultivate it. Instead, I watch with excitement as spring tiptoes in, quietly restoring beauty to a barren landscape, and hope…
Freedom Within These Walls
“Put down your iPads and go play in your room,” I tell my sons. Their reaction makes me sound like a soul-crusher. Tears, protests, and begging pour out of their mouths as they push back against my directive. It was an expected outcome but irritates me anyway. “Fine, then, if you hate these toys so much, let’s just get rid of them, then you won’t even have to clean them up.” “Noooooo,” the tears intensify. The threat of losing toys turns them into precious, invaluable objects. Even this book with the ripped pages, and especially that Ninja Turtle missing a leg. Most of the time, my sons gravitate to things…
A Riptide of Anxiety
Three years ago, my journey with anxiety and depression began. Depression has been like crashing waves, loud and relentless. But anxiety is like the riptide, hiding underneath the surface, able to sweep my feet out from under me in a moment. It overwhelms and leaves me gasping for air. For the most part, I’ve been able to avoid the riptide of anxiety. I stay at the shoreline and battle the waves of depression as they come in. But this last week has overwhelmed me. Every news article, warning, and cough has me flipped over in the current, tossed about at the mercy of the riptide. I thought I had these…
