Anticipating The Night Before Christmas
There’s a moment on Christmas Eve that stands out as my favorite of the entire holiday season. It occurs at the very end of all the hustle and bustle, when the typical onslaught of holiday parties, shopping, and general busyness has finally reached a close. It comes after getting everyone dressed up for church and trying to force my children to take just one good picture in their nicest holiday clothes. It’s after the chaos of dinner and the insanity of bedtime on the most exciting night of the year. And it’s at the tail end of my present wrapping extravaganza, where I dig out all of the presents hiding…
Try a Little Thankfulness
2020 is a year that’s been marked by frustration and disappointment for almost everyone. For too many, it has encompassed pain, fear, and sadness as well. It’s no wonder that by the time we’ve made it almost 12 months into this year, and 9 months into a pandemic, that I felt lackluster about Thanksgiving. Coming up with 30 things I’m thankful for this year was hard. But cultivating a heart of gratitude isn’t about seeing everything with rose-colored glasses– it’s about standing in the compost pile that is 2020 and being thankful for what grows out of it, even if the process is stinky. Things I’m Thankful For 2020 Edition…
Live and Love Without Words
We have the privilege of celebrating another birthday with our Wonder Woman, who has just turned four. Four more celebrations than she was ever supposed to have, according to a misinformed medical community. I am at a loss for words, which is inconvenient for me since this blog is specifically for writing. But when I think about how far she’s come, it doesn’t feel like the right words exist to describe her journey, her strength, or how she’s changed us, and that’s fitting since she lives and loves all without words. As a writer by trade, it’s odd for me to experience something so ineffable. I always search for the…
Confessions of an Introvert
“I should introduce myself to that person,” I tell myself. “Oh gosh, what do I say?” I respond— to myself. “Your name, duh. Hi, I’m Lauren. What’s your name? It’s easy.” My heart rate increases. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can.” “You’re dragging it out. Now it’s going to be awkward.” I know I’m getting further and further out from the ideal timing, but my feet continue to drag anyway as my eyes try to figure out where to look. “Don’t stare; that’s weird,” I chide. “I know, I’m trying to look friendly while I get up the nerve.” “Don’t give up.” I encourage, “You’ve waited too long, but you can…
Messy Vans & the Comfort of Drive-Thrus
Like many moms my age, I have a minivan, and I love her. Though a look at the trash piling up on flat surfaces, crusty French fries in crevices, and spilled sticky-something in the back right cup holder might give you a different impression. I feel slightly guilty about the mess she’s in, and I’ve started giving myself half-hearted mental reminders about her biannual cleaning. But truthfully, the mess is part of the reason I love my van. There are French fries everywhere because it’s the perfect place for meals on the go. Straw wrappers float around like confetti from the delicious iced chais and sweet teas I’ve consumed while…
Life, Art, and the Creative Process
I didn’t publish a blog last week, breaking my year-long streak—though it wasn’t for lack of trying. I have written snippets and pieces that remain unfinished. I have felt ideas float around my head but cannot coax them into words. I have processed a wide range of thoughts and emotions, none of them cooperative enough to become a cohesive piece of writing, preferably in the vicinity of 500-700 words. And though the blemish to my weekly self-publishing routine is new, this struggle to write is a familiar pattern. Each week I have started and stopped, I’ve typed and deleted. I’ve procrastinated, prayed, and persisted, eventually pulling ideas from my head…
Lightbulb Moments in Parenting & Life
My son looked at me with his serious face, dark eyes locked on mine. He repeated words I had just told him with a “yes ma’am” tacked on for good measure. Then, the moment they were out of his mouth, he jumped off-topic, stringing words together in a run-on sentence. “Listen to you, wait until you say so, yes ma’am, I think I know what the answer was.” “We’re not talking about the answer right now,” I said sternly. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply through my nose, forcing myself to stay calm. I was trying to help my oldest son with schoolwork while juggling other things on my…
Growing Up & Living the Dream
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” When asked, my oldest has answered a police officer for as long as I can remember. His younger brother chooses firefighter. They’ve gotten in their heads that it’s a team thing, like Chase and Marshall on Paw Patrol, or Chase and Heatwave on Rescue Bots— or whatever other kid show is out there with a cop character named Chase. My boys see themselves as a team; it’s sweet. It remains to be seen what they’ll pursue as they get older and realize there are a million and one opportunities in the world. But asking the question is a fun way…
Swimming in the Deep End
It’s fall y’all. Somehow this wild roller coaster of a year keeps chugging along— toot toot— and we’ve made it to September. It’s weird for me to realize that my family has lived in Colorado for more than a year. It feels like yesterday that we were watching movers put our belongings into cardboard boxes and saying goodbye to our friends and my beloved beach. But one look at my son’s high water pajamas or the baby’s long curls, and I realize that a year has gone by and a lot has changed. So as I ring in our second fall here (complete with an early snow), I’m remembering that…
Finding Unexpected Beauty
The silver moon moved through the cloudless sky, sinking until it disappeared behind the mountains. It glowed brightly against a lilac-colored sky, a soft yet vibrant purple hinting at the sun hiding beneath the horizon. The moon’s descent in the west felt rapid yet controlled as it sank lower and lower. Just one day off from its fullness, it appeared a perfect circle, and I watched the silhouette of Pike’s Peak appear in front of the round shape. It was odd to see the celestial movement so clearly. Unlike the sun, no shooting rays were bouncing in the clouds, and no blinding corona forced me to divert my eyes. The…
